Grieving: sharing loss, giving comfort

Scriptures: Matthew 5: 4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted."
--What has been the most comfort for you on an occasion of a loss or a death?
--What could or did your community do best in that kind of occasion? What have you done for others who are grieving?
Scriptures: Philippians 4: 4-7
--How do you feel about sharing your joys or sorrows with someone else? What in your faith makes it possible for you to share your joy or your grief with another? What would make it easier for you to share with another?

Practices:
In sharing your stories of joys and sorrows, I invite you to think about your own calling to ministries of comfort.
"In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matt. 5:4). The original Greek translated here as "those who mourn," hoi penthountes, implies active lamenting: crying, wailing. A few modern versions retain this active sense: the Russian plachushchie, and, in a slightly different sense, the German die da Leid tragen. But many other contemporary translations reshape the active mourning into a passive state of feelings. Here, then, is a place where theological presuppositions have very likely influenced the translation of a word, the meaning of which, in the original language, falls clearly on the active side.
The necessity for actively grieving losses is obvious. We may choose not to grieve, but inevitably we do so to our own detriment, if not to our emotional and spiritual peril. … Those who bury their grief, put on a brave face for all the world to see, neither invite nor allow the kind of care that can bring comfort. Those who do mourn may be comforted. But grieving is and must be optional even though the feeling response of grief is not. … In nonclinical terms this principle means that we are not to violate a person's reluctance to grieve even when we know it would be better for that person to do so.
The beatitude places sorrow-bearing at the center of Christian discipleship. On that matter there are no options. Those who claim Jesus as Lord bear the grief of others because they belong to a Lord who suffers and who in his suffering reveals God as one who suffers. The beatitude makes a telling demand on caregivers. We cannot turn from sorrow. We cannot ignore those who grieve." (Kenneth R. Mitchell & Herbert Anderson, All Our Losses, All Our Griefs, Louisville, KY: Westminster/John Knox Press, 1983, p. 165-6)

Often just being there is all that is necessary.
Writing a note that says "Thinking of you," "You are in my prayers," means a lot.
Asking: "how are you?" and really taking the time to listen for the answer can be a great gift to someone who is grieving.
Later, this might mean asking the widow to dinner even when there are couples and the numbers are uneven so that her social network doesn't vanish.
It might be making a note of the dates of people's losses and sending them a card on the anniversary of those losses.
It often means sitting with our own discomfort about loss and grief, and remembering that in comforting another, we can invite the Comforter to be with us as well, while allowing them the space and time to talk. "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near."

When we think about the rituals that surround grieving a death, they often include space and time to share memories of the person who died. Clearly this is important and cathartic to remember the good, the bad, the funny, the intimate, the essence of the person.
Understanding and confronting the good and the bad about other losses is equally important. What ways have you shared stories about your losses? What ritual could you do with someone to help you in this?