Soul Keeping: Spiritual Wholeness

The soul is not some metaphysical construct, not separate from the body, mind and emotions. The soul is the same essence as, is the spark from, the Divine, and so theologians struggle to find metaphors for something that is omnipresent within each person. Ronald Rolheiser defines it: "Our soul is not something that we have, it is more something we are. It is the very life-pulse within us, that which makes us alive."(Ronald Rolheiser, The Holy Longing, New York, NY: Doubleday, 1999, p. 12) So, keeping the soul cannot neglect the physical self, the mental self, the emotional self, or any part of one's self. Keeping the soul is central to each person's health, wholeness and well-being. Paradoxically, why then is soul keeping such a challenge, especially for ministry?

There is a certain inherent arrogance, yet vulnerability in many of the helping professions. Feeling the call to ministry, to teaching, or to service says on one hand that one knows that she has something worthwhile to give, while on the other, when facing burnout, fearing that there's really nothing worth giving inside. This echoes the dynamic in the soul as the desire to give, and give—pouring out energy, is balanced against our need to seek union and communion with the divine, with the still small voice in ourselves. Rolheiser explains that the soul has two functions: it must keep us energized and vibrant, full of desire, and it must keep us glued together or integrated, in oneness, and that "these two functions of the soul are always in a creative tension." (Rolheiser, p. 13-14.) If these two functions are out of balance, then going to the extreme of either can lead to one's end: a wild dissipation of energy or a slow stultification or turning completely inward and stagnant. Soul keeping then must include the practices that provide energy, the practices that encourage oneness, and the practices that bring those two into balance. Through life's demands, as ministers and as people, we lose touch with either our desires or our integration, or sometimes both. As we seek recovery in our spiritual selves, we then have to recognize our default soul patterns, and have to find compensating practices, and incentivizing and motivating practices to restore balance. Soul keeping is about finding and owning the spiritual practices that both fill the energy well, and sustain the integrated self: mind, body, spirit. It is not just about the reflective and quiet; it must also be about the vibrant and exciting. Soul keeping may be alone or within community or sometimes, too often, in spite of the community.

Where to start then, with those practices? "This is the first, wildest, and wisest thing I know," says Mary Oliver, "that the soul exists, and that it is built entirely out of attentiveness." (Quoted in Parker Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness, San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 2004, p. 34.) Thus out of the tension of the soul's creative functions must come attention, and also intention, a stretching toward (from the Latin tendere) that is both readiness and resolve. (Webster's 9th Collegiate dictionary) Webster's Dictionary alternatively defines attention as notice or observation. First, then, in soul keeping, especially as ministers, we need to open our eyes, our ears, our selves to what is around us. Especially in things that don't nurture our souls we are barraged with what's going on, and that is much of the problem, because it leads to inattention. "Two streams in our culture contribute to our inattention. One is secularism, which regards the human self as a social construct with no created core; the other is moralism, which regards all concern for self as "selfish." (Palmer, A Hidden Wholeness, p. 35.) To pay attention, we must know or discover the love of God the creator for each of us, and we must reflect that love for and in ourselves and in everything else as part of God's creation. We are unique souls, loving, loved and lovable. We must tend ourselves, and love ourselves.

All of the practices that we have discussed, have done, and continue to do link together, and as well link to that great commandment of love present in all of the great faith traditions. It is, in summary, to love ourselves, our neighbors and our God. I define spirituality as being in relationship with yourself, others, the Other--as you experience or express that which is greater than you, and with all of creation/the universe. We are all spiritual beings, and it is my hope that in sharing these practices with you that you and I are becoming more spiritually, mentally and emotionally healthy and whole and able to be in loving relationship with ourselves and with others and with God, the Divine and Whole Other. Perhaps we are not yet Olympic caliber in our emotional, mental and spiritual health, but we have practices that point the way.

Thank you for sharing yourselves, your stories, your sacred time and for listening attentively to my stories as well. My thanks also to those classmates, colleagues, teachers and spiritual leaders who companion me and have guided and are guiding my own work and journey on this path for spiritual wholeness. I hope that they see the fruit of their work and of the Spirit reflected here. I suspect this will be my final posting on this blog for a while, as I must focus on other projects for a while. I welcome your comments both here and directly.

Sabbath in Blessings—attention and gratitude

In the first two chapters of Genesis there are three blessings: at the end of the fifth day when God blessed the birds and sea creatures to be fruitful and multiply; at the end of the sixth day when God blessed the animals, creeping things, and humankind to be fruitful and multiply. "And on the seventh day God finished the work that God had done, and God rested on the seventh day from all the work that God had done. So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all the work that God had done in creation." Genesis 2:2-3. Abraham Joshua Heschel notes that, "It is, indeed, a unique occasion at which the distinguished word qadosh [holy] is used for the first time … How extremely significant is the fact that it is applied to time: 'And God blessed the seventh day and made it holy.' There is no reference in the record of creation to any object in space that would be endowed with the quality of holiness." (Abraham Joshua Heschel, The Sabbath, New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 1951,1979, p. 9.--a wonderful book!)

To create a mini-Sabbath, a brakha or blessing can also set aside time. Time can become holy as we pause to honor gifts received or grace perceived. In the Jewish tradition there is a rich practice of saying blessings that are rituals designed to increase mindfulness, gratitude, relation and connection. "We begin in the silence that precedes any sound or movement. Jewish tradition asks that we not say a brakha until we have quieted the mind and focused our attention on the blessings' purpose." (Marcia Prager, The Path of Blessing, New York: Bell Tower, 1998, p. 31.) The spiritual practice of blessing is to open to the sacred, and "each acknowledgment of divine abundance cycles more blessing into the world." (Prager, p. 13.) In the Jewish Orthodox tradition, the goal is to say one hundred blessings a day, thus opening the world to the divine at least one hundred times each day. (Mary Beth McCauley, "100 Blessings")

With a deep breath I reached toward the basket of warm dinner rolls and lifted it up, closing my eyes to be alone with the sensations. Steamy-hot, just-baked bread. I inhaled its warm sweetness. For just a moment it seemed that I held the fertile earth sprouting ripening wheat and saw the dough rising in an extravagant explosion of yeast. My fingertips touched the hot loaves. I sang: "Barukh Ata Adonay, Eloheynu Melekh Ha'Olam, ha'motzi lechem min ha'aretz. A Fountain of Blessings are You, Source of Life of all the Worlds, Source of the nourishment that is this bread, which You bring forth from the earth."

After sharing the bread the husband spoke:
"I grew up so angry!" he said. "All these blessings, these brakhas and prayers that I had to memorize. Always some rote formula to recite, another phrase to mumble. When I finally discovered Buddhism, it was such a relief. I embraced meditation and cultivated a practice of insight and mindfulness. … One day, … I was with someone and he stopped what he was doing to make a brakha. Like you just did. Suddenly I got it! All those years of cultivating mindfulness and I didn't see. Making a brakha, the act of blessing, it IS a mindfulness practice. Mindfulness is what blessing IS." (Prager, p. 2-3)

The hallowing of time in blessing, as in observing Sabbath, gives an important foundation for the ritual practice of blessings. "In making a brakha we separate out time before we consume, use, or enjoy something of the world in order to create a space where something other than thoughtless appropriation can unfold." (Prager, p. 13.) This personal ritual has a form and spontaneity, and is done with intention, and not only can address our hopes, but also our fears. When hearing thunder, for instance, one woman prays, "Blessed are You, Hashem, our God, King of the universe, for Your strength and Your power fill the world. … Isn't that better than [telling a fearful child], 'God is bowling'?" (McCauley, "100 Blessings".)

While the practice of a full 24 hours of Sabbath is something I would recommend, the practice of blessings ties Sabbath to attention, gratitude and mindfulness in a powerful abbreviated form that can create a spacious and relaxing time in a much shorter amount of time all through the week. Bless you, and the blessings that you share.

Grieving, forgiveness, and gratitude

These practices don't stand alone. We can and will integrate many of these practices in our lives. Certainly we understand the need for forgiveness as part of our grieving process, if only that when we suffer a loss we are left to deal with the consequences and may well feel angry about that, and forgiveness is a way to move through anger and hurt.

But what about gratitude and grieving? Is there value in our "blues?" David Steindl-Rast thinks that we can mine our grief for gratefulness. He suggests several reflective practices as a way to get to what we can be grateful for in our grief that we will also begin to explore in future sessions.

Practicing Gratitude

Get and use a gratitude journal. Write five things each day.

Say thank you: once each day this week in person; or send a card to someone.

Receive the gift: create and review your own Wow folder. We can only say thank you when we are open to receiving.

If you need the details on these practices, skim through the postings by label and look for gratitude.

Thank you for being a part of this project with me.

Gratitude: the Bible reminds us

O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever. Psalm 107 is among the many Psalms that remind us to give thanks.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5.16-18

I thank my God every time I remember you, constantly praying with joy in every one of my prayers for all of you, because of your sharing in the gospel from the first day until now. Philippians 1.3-5

Gratitude: count your blessings

Another way of looking at gratitude is to count your blessings. As I started to look at gratitude, I created a summer worship service that looked at blessings from several religious traditions, in scripture, song, and story. The Jewish tradition of looking for a hundred blessings a day makes the gratitude journal list of five seem short, but what a wonderful mindfulness exercise it is! Check out the links at the bottom of the service.

For those of you who know that counting is part of my "day" job, I call your attention to the importance of counting blessings as well as other things in this reflection.

Gratitude: saying thank you as a spiritual discipline

Say thank you.
In public.
In private.
Often.
When it's unexpected. (Read this wonderful story about how one person said thank you as a spiritual discipline with amazing results.)
Here are ways to practice and recognize the power of giving thanks:
Option 1: Say a sincere thank you to someone each day this week. That means you have to be aware, notice the gift and say thank you.
Option 2: Send one thank you card a week for the next 3 weeks for things you appreciated but forgot to say thank you for.
Option 3: Spend some time and collect notes for your own Wow folder. Review them before you do your gratitude journal.
Option 4: Create a thank you, you are welcoming, grateful place to be:
--keep a drawer or folder or box that contains your gratitude journal, a pen,
--your Wow folder: the thank you notes or emails that you have received in appreciation or for good work,
--and a supply of stamps and blank thank you notes or cards that you can send to others.

Gratitude: the link to Mindfulness

We discussed that mindfulness is becoming open and aware. In one of those paradoxes that often confront us, I found one author who said that his insight is that the prerequisite to practicing gratitude is openness. "You have to be open to receive." How do you shy away from receiving gifts, or opening up and being vulnerable? In order to practice gratitude, you have to open yourself to the gifts that come your way: the offer of help, the compliment, the hug. You may have to become aware of how you are blocking those gifts before you can be grateful for them.

Conversely, "gratefulness is full awareness," where, in that moment "you are fully one with the whole." So the work we continue to do about being aware and open in the exercises of breathing and listening, for example, help us enter into the practice of gratitude, while the practice of gratitude deepens our awareness, and requires our openness.

Gratitude: the link to well-being

There is some fascinating research on the effects of practicing gratitude and your emotional, spiritual and mental well-being. It started with a short quiz on how and when you are grateful. You can take it here.
Over the course of a number of studies, psychologists found a link between those who practiced gratitude and happiness and well-being. "People who describe themselves as feeling grateful to others and either to God or to creation in general tend to have higher vitality and more optimism, suffer less stress, and experience fewer episodes of clinical depression than the population as a whole. These results hold even when researchers factor out such things as age, health, and income, equalizing for the fact that the young, the well-to-do, or the hale and hearty might have 'more to be grateful for.'" Read further summaries.

Gratitude: the essential first tool

In 2002, I had a stretch where everywhere I turned the focus was on gratitude: psychological research on being grateful, practices of gratitude, songs, scripture, radio talk shows, until I finally got the message: gratitude matters. Gratitude is central to emotional and spiritual well-being. So I'm going to ask you to retrace with me, as much as I am able, some of those things that woke me up.

I heard about the gratitude journal or read about it as a recommendation from Oprah Winfrey, and even heard about it at a work seminar, and then I started reading Sara Ban Breathnach's Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy. She introduces the idea of a gratitude journal. "All the other principles that can transform your life will not blossom and flourish without gratitude." (Jan. 14 entry) ... The gratitude journal is not optional.

Get a blank book or journal or notebook. Each day write down five things that you are grateful for. She does it at night. I start my day with it. Some days they are big, most days they are simple joys. Sometimes five things come very quickly, and I add a sixth or seventh. Other days it takes a while and I have to resort to flipping back through to remind myself of what I have to be grateful for. What matters most is doing it regularly. It took a couple of tries, but I have now been doing this practice for five years. I have notebooks that are cheap spiral memopads and fancy blank books. I prefer small ones to fit the pocket of my overnight bag, because no matter where I am, this is part of my morning ritual. It could be a nighttime ritual too.
But just do it!