These practices don't stand alone. We can and will integrate many of these practices in our lives. Certainly we understand the need for forgiveness as part of our grieving process, if only that when we suffer a loss we are left to deal with the consequences and may well feel angry about that, and forgiveness is a way to move through anger and hurt.
But what about gratitude and grieving? Is there value in our "blues?" David Steindl-Rast thinks that we can mine our grief for gratefulness. He suggests several reflective practices as a way to get to what we can be grateful for in our grief that we will also begin to explore in future sessions.
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Grieving: anger. Anger in the Bible?
--Is it okay to show anger? When is it okay? Is it okay to be angry with God? In this scripture: Psalm 13: 1-6, the Psalmist certainly is.
--When you have suffered a loss, how and at whom are you angry? Have you expressed that anger? How have you worked through that anger?
I believe one of the great strengths of the Christian tradition is the embodied Christ with all of the weaknesses and foibles that having a body entails. Jesus is sometimes angry, tired, sad, vulnerable and just plain ornery, and we can appreciate his example in these things as well as his example when he is loving, accepting, working for justice, healing the broken hearted, feeding the poor, and welcoming the stranger.
What do you think other traditions do well or provide as models for allowing for anger in grieving?
What is "good" anger? So-called righteous anger is often used as a club to bully or oppress others. Yet anger is a normal emotion. How we deal with it in ourselves and in others is the key.
"When we suffer a loss, we are angry. We are in pain and we want to push the pain away. 'When a loved one dies, leaving you lonely and afraid of what your future will bring, you have every reason to be angry. You don't have to apologize about that; it's okay to be angry. What's not okay is taking your anger out unfairly on yourself or others.' In a loss due to death, you can be angry for many reasons, at a number of things: at the medical staff for not responding as you thought they should, at friends or relatives who seemed insensitive or unhelpful, at the person who died and left you behind facing a lot, at God for not answering your prayers in the way you wanted them answered, at yourself, or at your change in roles or life-style or loss of control.
How have you expressed that anger? What has worked? What good ways to express anger have you tried: physical things to work off energy, yelling into a tape recorder, letter writing, destroying old phone books or throwing cheap dishes into a trash pile, or talking to a friend? Make a list of everything and everyone that makes you mad and prioritize those that make you the most mad, then see if you can do anything constructive about those. Just making the list can be helpful. Seek professional help and support if your anger is out of control. 'And it's okay to be angry with God. God can take it.'" (Helen Fitzgerald, The Mourning Handbook, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994, p. 86-91)
--When you have suffered a loss, how and at whom are you angry? Have you expressed that anger? How have you worked through that anger?
I believe one of the great strengths of the Christian tradition is the embodied Christ with all of the weaknesses and foibles that having a body entails. Jesus is sometimes angry, tired, sad, vulnerable and just plain ornery, and we can appreciate his example in these things as well as his example when he is loving, accepting, working for justice, healing the broken hearted, feeding the poor, and welcoming the stranger.
What do you think other traditions do well or provide as models for allowing for anger in grieving?
What is "good" anger? So-called righteous anger is often used as a club to bully or oppress others. Yet anger is a normal emotion. How we deal with it in ourselves and in others is the key.
"When we suffer a loss, we are angry. We are in pain and we want to push the pain away. 'When a loved one dies, leaving you lonely and afraid of what your future will bring, you have every reason to be angry. You don't have to apologize about that; it's okay to be angry. What's not okay is taking your anger out unfairly on yourself or others.' In a loss due to death, you can be angry for many reasons, at a number of things: at the medical staff for not responding as you thought they should, at friends or relatives who seemed insensitive or unhelpful, at the person who died and left you behind facing a lot, at God for not answering your prayers in the way you wanted them answered, at yourself, or at your change in roles or life-style or loss of control.
How have you expressed that anger? What has worked? What good ways to express anger have you tried: physical things to work off energy, yelling into a tape recorder, letter writing, destroying old phone books or throwing cheap dishes into a trash pile, or talking to a friend? Make a list of everything and everyone that makes you mad and prioritize those that make you the most mad, then see if you can do anything constructive about those. Just making the list can be helpful. Seek professional help and support if your anger is out of control. 'And it's okay to be angry with God. God can take it.'" (Helen Fitzgerald, The Mourning Handbook, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1994, p. 86-91)
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